What is yoga to me anyway?
Lately I have been struggling with the true meaning of yoga. Is it a workout? Is it a choreography lesson? Is it meant to be fed to me? How do I feed others if I’m not clear about what it is? Where the hell is yoga going in 2019 in an America that is so divided? Why do people feel like they have to belong to one studio only and not another? What’s more important, the safety? The number of people in my class? The tone of voice I use? The color of my mat, my hair, my heart?
What the hell is happening to the yoga I fell for, the yoga that saved me, the yoga that stopped me from hating my differences and helped me love my beautiful messy artistic life?
SO here is what I have discovered.
Yoga for me is not about anything. It’s really about nothing. No goals. No #yogagoals. It’s about having a sacred place to lay it all down. Period. Lay. It. All. Down. Put the insanity aside, find a modicum of clarity and let the truth bubble up. The pure naked truth of who I am, where I am, and what I am and then sit with it a while. Just be with myself with no one looking. It’s one big messy dance of discovery. A dive into the depths of whatever is taking up space in my cerebrum, cerebellum and prefrontal cortex and then determining what stays and what goes. It’s a long slow walk into my own egoic humanity to uncover whatever happens to be there. In that moment.
I have gotten caught up in the daily dance of do-this, now do-this, now try-this and then throw my ass in bed at midnight, going over my gratitude list rapidly and begging all the Gods for more hours to manage all the mindless necessities of life.
Is that yoga?
For me the real yoga is about NOT setting an intention for my mat time.
For my life, yes, my mat? No
My mat is my sanctuary. It’s my place of willful worship. I get on my mat when I’m so churned up I can hardly breathe. I get on my mat when I am peaceful and prayerful and grateful. I get on my mat to find whatever the universe has for me that moment of that day. I get on my mat to find the connection that gets lost by overthinking, overdoing, over scheduling, over anything-ing. I get on my mat to bring it all home. To connect the dots of who I am. Heart. Soul. Spirit. Voice. I get on my mat to find out who I am. Nothing more. Nothing less.
Do you feel like your yoga has gotten out of hand? Is it turning into a space for fitness goals?
I’m interested in hearing where you are on your mat these days. I wanna hear about you, yep, sweet little you! So please leave a comment and share!
Now I’m getting on my mat! (oh, after I go to the dry cleaner…)